Tuesday, January 23, 2007

What I Like...

I sit there, watching it fade away, like a snowflake on your tongue. I watch it leisurely slide below the horizon. I watch the reflection on the immeasurable deep-sea. I sit on a smooth blanket of sand watching the horizon as it fades away. As time passes it gets darker, the sky dims to a lilac shade. I look up at the sky in marvel, watching the purple sky filled with sun-lit clouds. The sun shines throughout the clouds creating, astonishing streaks of light, like the northern lights filled with magnificence. I continue to watch the giant orb of luminosity; it slides down the horizon faster and faster. Until finally there is almost none left, I watch even more anxiously, waiting for the moment to occur. Finally it happens, the amazing green flash, it was as beautiful as an emerald. As quick as it came it left, like the strike of a cobra. After the sun sinks away, I think of how beautiful it was.

3 comments:

Mr. Jana said...

Wonderful Austin! I'm glad you directed me to this post. You used a simile quite effectively in the first sentence. “Fad[ing] like a snowflake on your tongue” is beautiful and captures the idea of a quick but graceful disappearance. The adverb “leisurly” follows up on the same theme, and as soon as you mention “sliding below the horizon” I immediately think of a sunset, but I’m not sure if that is what you are describing. Your writing piece abounds with so many other effective words it is hard to list them all, so I won’t even try, but words like “sun-lit clouds” and “orb of luminosity” stand out. I can picture a sunset painted in the style of impressionism when I read this.

Kit Haggard said...

I really like this peice. I think that you use a lot of wonderful phrases in this. I especaily like the "dimming to lilac" phrase. Wonderful job!

Kit

BethKurtz said...

This is a really neat writing piece. It really makes you want to close your eyes and actually believe you are at the beach. It kinda threw me off in the beggining when you were talking about the snowflake, but then i realized it was just an analagy. The word "orb" was really strong descriptively for me. I like the image it conveys. I also really like how you descriped the flash as a "cobra". This really makes it feel quik and sly.